I just stumbled across these on my computer and couldn't help but put them on here. joe is such an athlete. on a good note though, i guess he swam the other day. i remember when i learned to swim at age almost 7. and when i say age almost 7 i mean like age 3

12

less than 2 weeks then im back in US land. it seems like just yesterday that i was saying 2 weeks since i've been in slovak land. Time flies. KEnny Chesney. and while I am talking about country, ill say that Kip Moore has the key to my country heart right now. He is so good.

love these songs.

let me tell u this, its a battle for me to wake up and go in there every morning. I think im just..worn out. I dont know. However, i think its definitely time for me to come home because my bank account is approaching the ___________ (thats a flatline) mark... dead. zero. nothing.

i finally saw the bat of mans the other night..and it was fantabulous. christian bale can have my heart any day. and it took me like 3/4 of the movie to figure out what other movie Blake was from.  Also..the movie theater here, it's interesting…the seats a) are love seats and b) they are numbered. so you have assigned seats. and you can reserve them online. that's a pretty good idea i think. Also..I was very surprised to see that   popcorn and drink combo that would probably cost you a solid 17-20 dollars in the US was like 7 euros here. Buying popcorn and drinks at movie theaters is a joke.

AS i sit here and think about when I should start packing and stuff to go home..i can't help but think that i have so much junk that is just covering the entirety of this 3 person room. How does one acquire so much in such little time….Did I mention that martin is outa the house?????? DEUCES martin. nobody even told me. one night when i was sleeping he knocked on my door and opened it up a little bit, which just creeped me out, but maybe he was goign to tell me he was leaving. who knows. But you know how I found out he was gone? a) the maid threw out my dish soap b) his hair gel -- literally the only thing i ever saw him have in the bathroom (no toothbrush, shower stuff, towel, etc) -- was no longer sitting on the counter in the bathroom.

ask me about my velcro wallet

FOUR-TEENy bopper

We have now began the countdown to my return to the US of A. Not that I'm counting.

So. really this past week has been..well…interesting. Lets recap.

Monday: Spent 3 hours of my work day doing a job that somebody else gets paid to do:::::::: clean the rat's shreddings. They were so repulsive I had to go outside just to get air every once and a while. I also had to make this mask:

It's like they were swimming in coke and poo. Literally, some of their tails and butts are now brown because their cages were so gross. Which leads to my next point: I gave some of my rats baths. Yeah. I did it. So what. I care. Yeah. I sad it. I care about them. Which leads to my next conclusion: watching a rat try and get out of a wet sink is hilarious. You may not think so, but I sure did. It's like watching your best friend slip and slide and at the end hit something.

But since I was so pleased with their cages, I took some pics to elt you know what I was dealing with. I knew you would want to know.

rats repulsive cage with poo butt

rat's clean cage

And now you're probably thinking..Kat..were you cleaning those cages and using your phone at the same time? the answer is yes. and i will have to burn it after I leave slovak land. Along with everything else I own. Hopefully that iphone 5 delivers and comes out in good time.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I also broke a broom on Monday. Monday was just.. a really great day. Really great.

Tuesday: no idea what I did on tuesday. The usual
Wednesday: same. Walked around the city for a few hours after work and found the world's most awesome toy store. If i were like even 13 I would have loved this store.
Thursday:
-Found out the experiment we had to redo was once again worth shit so I went on a rampage. At least I'm leaving so I won't be here when they repeat it with the rats instead of mice and are killing animals like 10x as big.
-Purchased velcro wallet

Friday:
-Murdered all day, entered data, made first purchase with velcro wallet. Hang out with Hela & friends tonight on her last night in town.


So now, the real point of this post. My velcro wallet. Let me show u. I needed a wallet, and why wouldn't I buy a velcro one? Besides the very loud "sssttthhhhhhhhttttttttttssssshhh" it makes every time I open it. Ask me if I'm a 9 year old boy, just ask me.

The other day when i was walking home from work….I swear this man is here sitting every day. But today he was just baring it all. #crackkills

This bear was in the world's coolest toy store. Is that for sale tag for the bear..? How can I fit this into my suitcase…? Maybe just buy a ticket home for it and it sits next to me on the plane. I'm not sure. I'll figure it out.

BUTTT YYEEAAAHH that's my extremely eventful week. And as rat #16 would say- Chill out.

DEUCES

breakfast in bed. and lunch/dinner

this post is solely to the fact that i think i should purchase one of those trays that allows u to eat in bed. i eat in it anyway so it would only make sense that i got some table instead of my pillow substituting as a table. or i could just eat at my desk.. nah, bed.

so, of course i bought one.

picture of me after i bought my tray

slackin'

DAY 59 (I THINK. DON’T QUOTE ME. CLOSE ENOUGH, REGARDLESS)

dear father, it has been 8 days since my last post.

I was very good at the beginning of this trip..but god knows that fades. And nobody noticed besides dan. Which brings me to my next point…. i write this post not only because i need to since i haven't in a long time, but per dan schmall's request. Thank you dan, for giving me that extra nudge I needed. I also have a few pictures that relate to the previous post: “dan schmall”

So let me update you. My mom and grandma came to visit me here in Slovak land, aka in central Europe because in reality we were only here for a day. They arrived in Vienna so we stayed there a few days, then came back to ‘Brat-i-slo-vak-en-ia’ then we went to Budapest. Vienna and Budapest were truly something else. However, I wish that mom and gma stayed longer so I could escape from work longer and see more places. I’m poor without them and can’t afford to go anywhere else. I had planned on it but then I found out I couldn’t……complications. Details, details.. (ludo)

Gma and mom visiting was interesting to say the least. Interestingly fantastic. I think that my grandma should have her own show. It should be called “shit my grandma says” I didn’t realize that I should be doing this until like the last day, but why hadn’t I been writing down the things that this woman was saying? All I gotta say is lady knows what she wants and what she believes. And she will get it at whosever or whatever expense.

this is from st. stephens basilica in budapeset. just from my iphone. I only climbed 500 stairs to get up there. i was embarrassingly tired….

this man's legs are what i got to star at all train ride. ironman bag. irondan?

mom ordered a tomato salad at the train station. they ain't jokin when they say tomato salad.

DAN Y U COME VISIT BUDAPEST AND NOT TELL ME?

mom and gma from bratislava castle

 me and mom from ze castle

overlookin budapest 

schonbrunn castle in vienna

if you are readign this the chances are that you already saw these on fb. you'll get over it.

********************************************************************

Episode one (Pilot episode) of “Shit my Grandma Says”:

Gma: "he must support obama...all those people who cheat on their wives support obama"

Gma on lady in shop: "the lady didn't even speak English, I literally couldn’t believe it, she should be required to speak English" (grandma, you can't say that when you're in another country. Especially Slovak land)

Waiter at literally the nicest restaurant in Slovak: “would you care for any more wine?”

Grandma: "not now I wouldn’t! all i want is that check, i don't want more wine if you aren't going to wait on me better. i'll go to a bar"

mom  - "do i want those tickets?"

gma - "from venus?"

mom - "vienna?"

Me: “ok so we’re just gonna hop on the tram and it’ll take us right to our hotel. Its like one euro 40 cents for both of you”

Gma: “I have luggage, Kathryn”…as she is already walking up to a taxi. That cost 25 euros. For a 5 minute ride.

Grandma’s names for Bratislava: Bratislavia, Yugoslavia – followed by “I didn’t know Yugoslavia was still a country” (Bratislava is a capitol), Bracticslovakia, Slovenia, Czechoslovakia, Bractica, Czech Republic, Slovatislavia (these are real)…list goes on and on. But this is similar to any other person.

Guest Starring: Mom: reminiscing about when she bought her passport: “When I had to renew my passport, it asked what country I was going to, I put Bratislava” (Bratislava is a city, we’re in slovakia)

Grandma when my mom suggest we visit an art museum: "Well, I’ll tell you this much, I don’t do art museums, I don’t want to look at other peoples art, maybe if I drew it I’d be interested, but why would I care about someone else’s?"

Grandma at a very casual pizza restaurant: "what kind of wine do u have? I don’t want it if its not good.

Waiter: “We have (insert Slovak brand)”

Grandma: “You don’t have _____, _____, or _____? I guess you could bring me a sample”

(Waiter brings sample)

Grandma: “ugh, it’ll have to do I guess. I’ll take a glass. But don’t put it in the same one you just gave me that in”

me upon greeting mom and gma as they arrive: "i bought you guys some wine, chocolate and flowers!"

gma: "Kathryn you didn't need to do that, how sweet of you. I brought vodka"

me: “I really hope I don’t have an ugly baby”

gma: “Oh Kathryn come on, no babies are ugly”

me: you literally just said “uncle phil was not the best thing to look at when he was born, but look at him now”

gma: "well..ok"

gma: "kathryn, when you start to wear make up...."

me: “gma, i am wearing make up today. and im 20.”

Gma: "Mary, whats the bathroom like? im not using one of those nasty holes. Guess I won’t be going to the bathroom for a while"

Gma talking about money: “Kathryn, $100,000 a year is not a lot. That’s nothing”
Me: ok..well..depends Grandma.. the average income is like $50,000.

And that’s a wrap of Episode 1: “Shit my Grandma Says”

**************************************************************

If you’re still reading this post, I suppose I will go on and talk about a few more things. However, I understand if you are not.

While I put these quotes up here, don’t get me wrong, I love my grandma with all my heart, and she was more than generous to me on this trip and I am forever grateful for it. She never failed to make me laugh and I am extremely glad she came to visit me here. I know it couldn’t have been easy on the plane ride and all the logistics involved. Luh u grams.

NEW TOPIC: water.

Finally bought still water at the gas station
::::SCORE::::
GAS STATION: 12,456
ME: 2

NEW TOPIC: martin.

Honest to god martin smells so bad. He needs to go. I want to throw up every time I walk into our dorm. This is mean, but it’s getting out of control. Thank god I can shut my door and have windows. Sick wit it.

REVERTING BACK TO OUR VACATION

Since a lot of things occurred, im going to go back to the good ol' number list. 

1. Shopping on this trip was….kind of non existent. Not because we didn't want to shop, because we did, and we went into many stores. I think I ended the entire thing buying like two shirts or something. This is because every effing store has like 4 stories. NO, I do not want to go up to the 7th floor to check out. NO, I will not go to the 4th floor to look at the shirts you are selling. It essentially came down to me not wanting to go anywhere except the floor I entered the store on. I have  a) confirmed my laziness b) confirmed the fact that flat stores would be more successful than stores with stories  (In kat world) c) realize that if that was the case it would take up a  lot of space d) confirmed that buying clothes obviously is not that important to me. At least not important enough for me to go up or down a floor.

2. If there is a long line, I will also not be purchasing anything. I would rather run a track race than wait in a long line at a store. Even if I have some things in my hand… If i see a line I don't like.. I'll put them back and hope the next store's line is shorter. Clothes = not worth it

3. I'm Brazilian. When we were in Vienna one day, 3 different people asked me if I was Brazilian. And then were extremely surprised to find out I was from Iowa. What are these people in Vienna smoking? The same thing they are smoking in Amsterdam probably.

4. So many souvenir shops were selling cups and stuff that said "California" or "San Francisco" NO, I would not like to purchase a mug from the country I came from. I'd like to purchase something from your country if you don't mind.

5. People on the subway. i could go on for hours about these people. I'll start off by saying that they are stupid and rude. And actually I think I'll end it there. It surprises me because in Bratislava, if someone gets on the tram who looks like they need a seat, like 3 people hop up out of theirs to offer it up. But on the subway in Vienna, you have idiots standing at the door blocking it when there is a ton of space on the inside. Idiots.

6. I'm going to use number 6 to simply state I hate stupid people that don't use their heads.

Now i'm all worked up.

7. Mom and I went to this pizza place in Vienna one night while gma went back to room to rest, and no jokes, the bathroom was in the freezer. I called it the zerlet. get it? freezer + toilet? and actually I just made that up, I didn't call it anything at the time. Just thought it was odd…. And even though it was in the freezer..it wasn't cold inside. I know, I was expecting my bum to stick to the ice toilet.

8. Spatial Recognition. Until this trip, I thought I literally had the poorest spatial recognition on this planet. Until I figured out where I got it from, and figured that it only gets progressively better down the line of Middleton women. My grandma's is absolutely awful. My mom's is awful. and now mine i just considered bad. So I should consider myself grateful? It was like I was the only one who knew that we just came from where that giant castle was over there, and not where that giant basilica was over there. (NO OFFENSE MOM IF YOU'RE READING THIS!)

9. My gma wanted to buy some good cigars for my uncle, so she asked our waiter at the bar in one of our hotels. He sent us to this place called 1516. He said not only do they sell great cigars, but the restaurant is fantastic. So during the day, we were walking around, and had planend on going there for lunch. I went up to these men in front of the opera house (who were dressed in their opera clothes…) and asked them where to find it. One of the guys just said "OOOOOOHHHHH" and I said, "what", and he just smiled at me and looked at his friend. I said what, whats wrong with it? And he said, " you look for boyfriend?" and I said no..why? and he said "this where single women go to find boyfriend" and was just gigglin gigglin gigglin. Bottom line is this man thought i was lookin for love. or a hook up, whatever.

seth always visits me in unexpected places

passed out in the train station. people who owned it woke him up a total of 3 times

hope i don't forget what number to call for a taxi

guy at starbucks: can i get your name?
me: kathryn
guy at starbucks writes: kathzin

budapest castle. amazing.


SO YEAH, this post is already too long. but if you read it. awesome. if you saw how long it was and x'd out. understood. peace and love

dan schmall

there are a million things i could write about right now. im in vienna with my mom and gma and we been all around da world (city) but all i really want to write about are things that i wanted to buy/reminded me of dan schmall in vienna today.
and when i say write about i really mean the pictures are self explanatory.

i write more later. goodnight moon

FOUR TEE NINERS

my friends, my family, my enemies, my acquaintances.

this is officially day 1 of kat's break. day 1 of being off out of 49 days. i have been in slovak land for 49 days. you may be wondering, is this real? i feel like you've been gone for a lifetime, i miss you so much. its real my friends. and i miss you just as much as you miss me.

so youre probably wondering, kat, what have you done on your day off today?????
let me tell you all the things ive done, who ever though one could be so productive on a day off?? :
1) downloaded music 2) used the bathroom

….its 5:00 pm. 'nuff said.

hello mom and gma.

its official….. i will have my first break since i arrived in slovak land. Mama bear and gma are coming this week and i could not be happier.  finally.. a break from the rats, mice, poop, and vaginas. #bestweekever ….im not sure that I've ever wanted a Monday soooo badly.

these past few days weve basically gone to work and then went to the lake afterwards. ive seen more boobs and speedos than anyone should ever see. however, what i like about it, is that if these people can walk around wearing what they are wearing, or lack of what they are wearing… then who is judging me? its like nobody judges you… for example, i fell off this rock thing and it was a huge scene and nobody laughed at me….if i saw me, i would have been laughing uncontrollably.

i also did laundry today and am retarded, because i washed all my linens….which = pillowcases which = wet pillowcases = i had to use a t shirt as a pillow case…

im too lazy to write.

deuces

what day is this? help? 2 lazy 2 check

sponges. as you probalby know, or probably not, we do not have a dishwasher, so naturally i wash my bowls in the bathroom sink. now. this poses a problem. and i think that every hand dish-washer encounters this. dont you feel like you are making your dishes dirtier when you wash them with the sponge you used to wash the previous 10 dishes? maybe im doing this wrong..idk..im new at this… are you supposed to replace ite very time? no idea, but i dont, and i was started to wonder, would it be more sanitary for me to just not clean the dishes and reuse them? then at least they wouldnt be infused with sink water and soap. however, i couldn't do this…my bowls were getting too many layers. jokes, i didnt try. or maybe i did. but anyway, i invented "kat's 2 sponge system" side note: theres an effing girl consistently screaming her lungs off outside and i honestly might go punch her. anyways. 2 sponge system. i have a "poo sponge". i use this to initially clean all of my dishes after using them. after i use this sponge, i dig in with the "not poo sponge" i then go over the dish to clean it again and make sure that i am cleaning up wat was actaully put on it from the last sponge….. now…this may not even work, but it makes me feel better about eating  my cereal out of a bowl i just ate vegetables from.


water. i'm just going to throw it out there that every time i go to buy water its liek buying a car. very carefully, very specifically, very time consuming. after i come home from work its 100 degrees out, i just left a puddle of sweat on the tram seat, somebody else sat in it, and im headed on the long walk back to my dorm, up a mountain of stairs, and through the woods. and apparently there is no such thing as ice or cold drinks here. now i ahve absolutely no problem with drinking the water from the sink and just filling my water bottle up. however, the water is the same temperature as the little puddle outside that hasn't managed to evaporate completely from the storm last night. iz hot. i might as well put some instant coffee in it. so back to hte point, i stop at the gas station to buy a cold water. which honest to goodness, is not very cold. its in the "cold" section, but i think they think cold is mildly not warm. but thats not even the point. the point is that i can never tell if its sparkling water or normal water. i spend an average of 15 min standing infront of them rying to figure it out. the very first time i bought a water, i somehow grabbed the right one (non carbonated) and then next time, i thought nothing of it… until i opened up what i thought was normal water..to find bubbles in my mouth and into my stomach. im not sure if  you've drank carbonated water before, but im sure you have, and when you're itching for some ice cold water, you don't want bubbles in it. imagine my disappointment…and resentment for slovaks. then next THREE times i went ot eh gas station, i got carbonated instead of normal. when i thought i was getting normal. i even asked to make sure it was normal…nope it was carbonated. i'd also like to point out that i pay 2 euros every time i want to order water at a restaurant..its cheaper to buy a beer.


mishko drinking pup smoothie. remember how we blended our baby mice? well, i told this kid mishko that i'd give him 50 dollars if he drank one. HE SAID HE WOULD DO IT. first, my reaction was bug eyes. and then i was thinking, omg, he's really going to do it. so i was going to let him do it. id cough the money up. 50 dollars. to drink a blended baby. this is real, people. what woudl you do for 50 bucks? probalby not drink a dead animal. but before he could get around to it, we got stopped by teh safety police. apparently, the pups were mixed with cell lysis solution… aka, if he drinks this, it will cause all of his stomach cells to explode and lead to internal bleeding. obviously i told him it would be ok if he did it anyway. jkjkjkjkjk he didn't do it. but i cant beleive he was willing to...


spilt ethanol. if you ever want anything done correctly, do not, i repeat DO NOT ask me. i will literally manage to mess it up, or i will incorrectly measure, or i will break it, the list goes on. the other dya, i knocked over half a liter of ethanol and it spilt everywhere. the day before that i knocked over mishko's samples all over hte floor. that is real. im a walking disaster. they say don't cry over spilt milk, but i might just have to cry over spilt ethanol.


oh yeah. yesterday was the 4 of july. also, my straw has a mind of its own. happy america day, everyone. #USA

DEUCES 

day 41/42 ….technically its day 42 but im still awake from day 41…this is where things get complicated, and why i shouldnt be awake right now.

soo..i literally thought martin moved out of here since for like two days i didnt see him and his door was closed..i was like..sweet, i dont have to shut the door to the bathroom. boy was i mistaken when i took a chance….oops. at first i thought omg..maybe he read my blog..and left..omg…but no worries, hes still here, and we're still a happy family. or, a family at least. or… roommates, at least..

ive come to the conclusion that im on half slovak time half american time. when i wake up to  go to work at 7, im obviously on slovak time. but when i get home, itd be liek 11 america time and around 4 here. i never go by the 4. i go by the 11 because thats the time on my computer still. thast probalby why im up so late. i literally extend my day 7 hours longer and it must just cut into my sleeping time…that aint right.

soo happy that rat and mouse week from hell is over. but lucky us get to restart the mice experiment again tomorrow! and guess what, its a national holiday on thursday here and i still dont get the day off! y does this suck so much.

mama and gma are arriving in exactly one week. well, actually, this is depending on where you are reading this from. and actually, i lied, its a week and a day because they lose a day coming here…nuts. im really excited to see them tho. too bad the erin squared crew didn't hop on that plane…..

speaking of mom…. whenever i see someone running in jean shorts i shake my gangsta head. and so does my mom. and then…. i was skyping my dad and he went to show me what my mom was doing……. i couldnt believe what i was seeing. don't take that shit outside mom, thats all im sayin. keep that in the privacy of our own home, and this blog i guess. good thing nobody reads it.

its perty hot out here, aka i frat tank it up every day. people ask me if im in a frat. and i tell them yes, not only becuase im actually a boy (that was my big reveal, everyone) but because ive always wanted to b in a frat. LOL NOT! jkjk jokes. actually, i wanna be in oranges frat  in macomb.. bpp. word. so i guess i do.

ive literally never been more disappointed that i have to miss the fourth of july. especailly cuz erin is throwin a partay and dan is going to set off fireworks and naked slip n slide simultaneously.  and god knows im the only american in slovak land. and god also knows that i will hit up a pub by myself decked out in 'murica clothing on wednesday. #MURICA. i will also bring a picture of dan schmall with me in case anyone asks me to see a true patriot.

this weekend we blended baby mice into smoothies. 'nuff said. we were in ze lab literally all day saturday and then i had to come in on sunday to check up on my friends and feed them.  rats on rats on rats. they love me. its mutual.

looks liek a smoothie wink dog would make me at nutri. yujm

nice, right?

id also like to point out that the trash men are here right now. its 3:50 in the morning. dont they have anything better to do than wake up a bunhc of kids sleeping with their windows open because they are melting popsicles.