you know, i know already wrote today, but i just have something to say.

im laying in my bed here just thinking. thinking about the fact that im excited to see the results of the experiments we're doing. you're probably thinking, kat, honestly, stop thinking about your rats. but this is serious. what makes you excited in life is why things are worth doing. the thought of being a doctor, to me personally, is the most amazing thing in the world. now, i know i have not been an intern, nor even been accepted into medical school yet. but the thought of working my brain so much and working so hard for something that i think i will truly enjoy is what makes it ok. coming from the girl who doens't know yet what it's like to be a first year medical student. but im trying.

the main people i can't help but think about when i think about being excited about what you do is robyn and maddy. honestly, i tell them this all the time, to see how happy elementary ed makes them and see how much they love the kids they work with. or myabe not love ALL the kids but they just love doing it. i can't help but admire how much they love their next step in life, which would be their career choice, being teachers.

Another person who i have spoken to is dr. maze. the way he talks about his job, like there is nothing in the world else that he'd rather be doing, i admire that.

or you could be krista pederson..you're not sure where your degree is going to take you, but you know what you want. you know you want to stand for women and their rights, you know you want to help people, reach out, do whatever you can to spread what you believe. Maybe she doesn't know how this will happen yet, but knowing her, she'll make it happen.

monika..my roommate…ive literally never seen anyone as excited about chemistry as she is. she lives to do experiments in her lab. and whats even better is that she loves to cook. she loves to cook because she compares it to chemistry. i wish i liked chem that much…or knew how to cook


too many people go to school and through the motions just to have some sort of career. now i know tht its not easy to find a job that you love, but try. i know that i often go through the motions of college, which is sometimes ok and sometimes not ok. and when i write this, i am speaking not only to everyone but to myself. i am just as guilty as other people in many things like this. and in no way in hell do i have my life figured out, because honeslty, who does? i also am one of the most pessimistic people you will find, and i am aware of that. but sometimes i like to look at it more of being realist. rreally, what do you want out of your life and what will REALLY get you there?

but if someone were to ask me right now what i want to do? there is no debate. i want to be a doctor. i want it so bad that i have nightmares of not getting accepted! i want to help people. what do you want?